that scratch at my Bursa.

After dragging my feet and wincing in pain for months, I decided to act on the ongoing shoulder issue. The Orthopedic Surgeon echoed what both the Chiropractor and Massage Therapist diagnosed -- Impingement Syndrome.

I had never thought of my shoulder as an elegant, complex machine, which explains why I run about the house doing injurious arm circles without attention to the delicate muscles, tendons, joints and such in my elegant shoulder.

After nearly three hours of inhaling medical office smell, the Orthopedic Surgeon released me with x-rays, a referral for one month of Physical Therapy and a cortisone shot to ease the pain. "Ease the pain" is a matter of opinion. I am not a baby about pain. In fact, twice in my life I required no post-operative pain killers. This cortisone shot had me complete incapable of moving my arm by the time I returned to the office, and facing a tired, cranky, hungry (no breakfast, no lunch) and pain-riddled employee with no function in her dominant arm was nothing my boss cared to experience. He sent me home.

The x-ray shows a bone spur on the end of my Acromion. While Physical Therapy will help the impingement, it will not reduce the spur, a literal thorn in my Bursa.

What this means for knitting, I cannot say at the moment. Since putting on my coat and pouring tea with my right hand seems to be a source of irritation, one can only imagine what another four inches of double moss stitch might do to me. And it's not just my shoulder that worries me...

The upside of the shoulder issue is that I have turned to reading during my typically scheduled knitting time. I am wading through three books at present, which may say something about how those books are gripping me if I have a rotation of three going at the moment.

Hello, my name is Gina and I am a book shopaholic.

Textbook purchases are exempt from Off The Shelf, but these books...well, these books are not for class.

The fact that I bought them with a combination of store credit and cash only slightly diminishes the transgression. I ask you, how could I pass up a vintage hardbound version of this Julia Child's masterpiece? I do wish I had passed on Greetings from the Knit Cafe. My reaction to the book was more tepid than my initial reaction to Mason Dixson Knitting, which I have since sold. Greetings from the Knit Cafe may be headed for the same fate.

I had a short train ride yesterday, and in an effort to pack as lightly as possible, not to mention save my shoulder, I packed no knitting. It was rather odd for me, but I used the opportunity to open one of the books that have been sitting in my TBR (to be read) pile for some time.

Speaking of the Sweeney Todd Shoulder (the Murder She Wrote Muscle, the Mrs. Teapot Tendon, the Gaslight Glenohumeral Joint)...

I have decided to take some advice and seek out an orthopedic doctor. I simply cannot afford to screw up my burlesque career before it gets off the ground.

With branding what it is today, there is a future for me in books and exercise videos.

Provided I am not done in by a certain Irish octogenarian!

A special thanks to Sharyn for the graphics.

After listing his five fantasy careers, The Aging Hipster tagged me to do the same. While Petula*Darling did not tag me to list six weird things, she assured me via private email that she wanted to tag me, but felt I might pooh-pooh it. She wanted me to know that her failure to tag was not a reflection on my tag-ability. Nevertheless, I feel slighted!

Apparently, the embarrassing injury I sustained in October is more serious than I had realized. Something about the rotator cuff and transference... As a result of the niggling pain, my knitting has been sparse. Thus, I must fill the page any way I can.

Tripping the Life Fantastic:
I could combine my dance training and affection for by-gone days as a burlesque performer ala Dita von Teese or The World Famous Pontani Sisters.

Will my lack of ability in science and mathematics have any effect on my desire to be a Chaos Physicist? What about an astronaut?

If I were an indie actress with a strong cult following, I could play any and all of those characters.

Not too long ago, there was a significant paradigm shift that made it hip to be a nerd, dork, geek, what-have-you. How wonderful that there is no longer any shame in balancing your checkbook, writing computer code or wearing glasses! Everybody wants to embrace, proclaim and celebrate their inner dork. I am no exception. Allow me to elaborate...

I was given the "OK" to audit a language course, and after roughly 20 years away from the formal classroom, I returned to mingle with people literally one half of my age. Frankly, the age difference is of little concern to me, but it does make me giggle. I was more concerned about exposing myself as a linguistic horror – tongue-tied and mutilating the native language of one extremely cordial visiting professor.

Last night, I could barely sleep from the combination of excitement and dread. I awoke 20 minutes early this morning in order to eat breakfast at home. I wanted to be “running on full” and alert for my first day of class. The walk from my office to the classroom seemed further than ever, and I was shaking with delight and anticipation. Such much so that I thought I might puke. Most people experience tears of joy; I experience an overwhelming desire to part with my breakfast.

Class went well, and the professor recognized me immediately. I would like to think it is because I am the only new student, not because I am clearly the old hag in the room.

Upon my return to the office, I greeted my boss with a hearty Buon giorno!, and I breathless recounted what could be my most exciting 50 minutes in Poughkeepsie to date. My boss was so pleased to see how pleased I was to be “back to school”.

Friday I failed to mention that I also wanted to be an actress, but I may have mentioned it previously, which would have violated the rules. I did not want to be a Julia Roberts-type actress, rather Christina Richie -- before morphing into a lollipop-headed alien -- or Catherine Keener-type actress. As you can imagine, I have a bit of a dramatic leaning.

My face is a mere minute or so from cracking open and my sinuses exploding. Apparently, my nasal cavities are more precise than a local meteorologist. Last summer, I had a hideous sinus headache and insisted that rain was coming, but everyone was keen to tell me that the Local on the 8s had called for a week of bright sunshine. All of the parrots were made to eat their words when a coworker returned to the office moments later -- drenched from a sudden storm. Hey, the nose knows.

And that is pretty much all I have. As January winds down, I completed a total of six inches on the Cap-sleeves Raglan Top, and why rush to finish a short-sleeved garment? Thankfully, I found Bella -- hanging out with Anthony Bourdain. Can you blame her? I am 1/4 of the way through Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight and 3/4 of the way through The Nasty Bits. Now that I have separated Bella and Bourdain, I should be able to make progress with both.

I started the year down 29lbs from last year, however, I gained one stubborn pound that refuses to budge. Given that I had already reached my mental satiation with Weight Watchers, the slow-down and the plateau are making it more of a challenge to stay focused and motivated. I need inspiration. I need a change of pace to shake things up.

Hell, I need to shake me up.

As a child I wanted to be a ballerina, a nun and an archeologist. The one thing I never wanted to be was a mother.

In all my years of rentals and roommates, my experiences were nothing but positive. This is more than I can say for the experience of living with children.

I have lived in Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, New Orleans, Seattle, Manchester (England) and Florence (Italy) which makes living in Dutchess County a hard pill to swallow. I desperately miss living in a city, but too often, I am content to complain rather than act to change.

For Mardel. Other bloggers, play along if you like.

One thing a communications student learns is that scribal cultures assign a near-magical component to the power of the written word. Accordingly, we will write positive predictions, but are generally less willing to do so if they are negative. Suddenly, we fear that they could come true.

By way of demonstration, one professor asked the following:
Write the birthday of your best friend.
Write the date your best friend wins the lottery.
Write the date your best friend's death.

Even at the age of twenty, only 10 students in a classroom of nearly 200 were willing to write that last date on the paper. I was one of the 10 brave, and even then I cheated. I wrote a date in the past. Why? Words are powerful. The spoken word can soothe or wound, but it is ephemeral. Once spoken, it is gone. Our memory may hold it, but the moment is lost forever. With the written word, there it is -- on the page -- and there is no denying it.

A certain logic should suggest that writing down resolutions would be an inducement to "make it so". However, I suspect that the New Year's Resolution is the perfect argument against the "magical" power of the written word. At least that seems to be the case for me.

Perhaps it is my deep-rooted need to push back against "the system", but no sooner did I commit my ideas to "paper" did I start to rebel. Off The Shelf? Ha! If I am forced to read those boring books lying about, then I will not read at all. If I cannot knit from yarn that I do not already own, then I will ignore my current projects.

How is that 100 miles by April 1 coming along? Calculate the distance from couch to refrigerator by the number of trips, I think it is coming along swimmingly. I am quite tempted to join in the fun with Jen (over at JenLa) get in on the UFO Resurrection Project. As frogging is allowed, I will have to work extra hard to maintain my award.

Living with a non-knitter often requires that a knitter either be very silent about things such as spreadsheeting stash yarn or databasing projects for fear of ridicule. While Joe is the sort of man who could categorize and chart easily, he takes a rather laissez-faire approach to it outside of the office. As a land surveyor and mapmaker, I can see how one could be sucked into plotting the finer points of life.

But it is Joe's inherent desire for fact and perfection that makes him a good match for me.

Last weekend, we visited the grounds of Locust Grove, the historic Poughkeepsie home of Samuel Morse for a brisk walk. As I am flirting with the idea of walking Runagogo, I was curious to know how many miles I had logged traipsing around the grounds of the man who brought us the telegraph. However, I attempt to do the calculations from the trail maps proved futile. I sent the link to Joe and asked him if he had a rough idea of our mileage. That evening, he handed me this:



He dropped the trail map into his mapping software, plotted the points and calculated our distance and time. N-E-R-D!

God, I love that man!

My "missing in action" status from blogging is a direct result of missing work. I was bitten by a bug that threw me of course. If nothing else, being at home forces the issue of eating at home -- provided I have the stomach for it.

Over the weekend, I further reduced my stash by returning yarn that lacked a project to Yarn Central and applied that towards something I needed: a pretty knitting bag. I had my eye on this bag since it arrived in the store several months ago. Saturday, it came home with me, but I have yet to carry it anywhere.

Slow progress continues on the Karabella Aurora Raglan Cap-Sleeves Top, and Bella is missing in action. Just as well. I do not have the stamina for controlling three balls of yarn at the moment.

While it is mostly quiet on the knitting front, I am proud to announce that after ten months, I finished The Story of B. Much like The Celestine Prophecy, this is fiction with a real world message. My intention to return to Lee Miller: A Life was derailed by a friend lending me Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight.

After a few bad experiences, I no longer lend my books to others, thus I feel compelled to read and return -- in the very condition in which it was lent to me -- the book as quickly as possible. I started the Lee Miller bio last December. It is so densely written that I could only read a few pages at a time, but I am committed to finishing it before the Vernal Equinox. At which point, I will resume knitting CeCe.

The understanding of why many people opt not to make resolutions every New Year is hitting me. Behaviour modification does not come easily. My personal goals of daily water (8 glasses) and weekly yoga (2 classes) fell a bit short due to a lack of preparation and a beastly migraine.

As far as Off The Shelf, I seemed to be doing rather well. Thursday evening Sharyn and I spent a few hours knitting at Barnes & Noble. I looked at a few books, but I was more tempted by yoga mats and French press coffee makers.

Last night, however, was a different story. In the process of returning some books to Borders, I was under siege with offers of 30% off coupons, expiring points and a personal shopping day. My resolve crumbled, and a knitting book I planned to purchase in April found a home on my shelves.

So much for Off The Shelf! Barely a week into 2007, and I have already suffered a small stumble. One slight slip is not cause to abandon my project. I am sticking with it, and moving past this glitch. Forfeiting those points would have been wasteful and irresponsible behaviour.

Besides, how am I to knit from my stash without an appropriate stash of patterns?

It might have been over-exposure to The Parent Trap (1961), but as a child of 12 or 13, I wanted desperately to be a twin. I suppose I was yearning for a sibling, but I will be honest: I loved being the only child. I did not want an older or a younger sibling; I really just wanted a duplicate of me as a playmate.

There would be no difference between me (Gina) and my twin (Tina). There would not be a smarter or prettier twin. We would be exactly the same. And it is this need for matched pairs that makes my Yoga Socks so darned stressful.

Please know that I scoured the skein of Noro Silk Garden looking to get blue toes on the second sock. Please know that I schemed and pondered how I could break Knit From Your Stash to buy another skein of the yarn and try to knit a fairly well-matched second sock. But for once in my life, I gave in. I let the randomness sweep me away.

Did my stress subside when I embraced the random wildness that is "the wonder of Noro"? Not entirely. See those 9" of tail to the right? That is all that remained of the one skein of Silk Garden after I cast off. I really thought I might have to do some unravelling to cast off

Talk about very little wiggle room!

Yoga Socks
Dec. 30, 2006-Jan. 4, 2007
1 skein Noro Silk Garden, # 221
#3 Devil Pointed Needles
2 #3 Addi Turbo 24" circulars

Raised Catholic, I have had some serious lapses and rejection of faith. Even during my most distant times from the church, I was still respectful and tolerant of those who practiced and observed their faith.

Six years ago at a fair in the Freemont section of Seattle, I overhead a Christian man and his young son talking about music and leafing through CDs. I froze in my tracks when the man called out to his son, "Look, here's something by a band called Ministry, and the CD is Psalm 69".

The small mean part of me wanted to keep silent, but I simply could not. I could not have the impending heart attack of this man on my conscience. Even hardcore tattooed types have squirmed at Ministry’s lyrics. Lyrics about Jesus fellating The Holy Ghost are not for the faint of heart. I cautioned this man against purchasing the CD, but no amount of insistence could persuade him against his purchase. He was hell-bent, if not hell-bound.

In spite of the pain, the DPN injury made me giggle. It is a little on the stigmata side. Was this a sign? Well, those needles are filled with some sort of spirit, but it is not benevolent. One of these little red devils snapped in my hands tonight!

Evil forces beyond my control are cursing me with Second [Yoga] Sock Syndrome, however, I am strong in the face adversity. Last night, Sharyn and I met for dinner (my one night out for the week) and a bit of knitting at Barnes & Noble. In retrospect, the chosen venue was probably a bit foolish on the heels of my Off The Shelf proclamations. However, I resisted temptation (in the form of Erika Knight's Classic Knits) and exchanged some books for a new yoga mat and a French press coffeemaker.

Oh foolish DPNs, do not toy with me!
I can knit in the round on two circulars...

Like many, I do not make New Year's resolutions. I do reflect on the ways that I can improve me, my life and maybe the world (in a small way). Like weight loss, life goals are best set in small increments and adjusted over time.

Many of my personal goals are standard fare, lose weight, get healthy, save money, get healthy, etc. and are certainly not limited to 2007.

Drawing inspiration from Knitting From Your Stash, I examined the key areas where I could cut back my "consumption", and I am adding books and food to the program. I am calling it Off The Shelf, and for the next six months, I will be turning to my bookshelves and my pantry shelves before I turn to the bookstore or the restaurant.

OFF THE SHELF (January 1, 2007-June 30, 2007)

Books

1. All books must be from either my personal stash or my trial Audible.com membership.
2. I may not borrow fiction from the public library. Health reference books are permitted.
3. I may use a store credit or gift cards to purchase books only if the card is due to expire.
4. I may download one additional audiobook per month during my trial membership.
5. I may not purchase new knitting books (pattern books are exempt) until April 1, 2007. At that time, I may only use credits or gift cards for the purchase.
6. I may break these rules only if I encounter (not actively seek out) hardbound copies of favorite paperbacks, rare books or first edition books.
7. I may purchase books as a gift for others.
   

Food

1. I must use the free lunch option at work, or I must pack a lunch.
2. I must pack healthy lunches that include 2 vegetable servings.
   
3. I may eat one lunch out per week as a social event. Business lunches are exempt.
4. I may eat one dinner out per week as a social event in lieu of the lunch out.
   
5. I may eat one additional dinner out per week with Joe.
   
6. I must support my local farms and independent markets whenever possible
   
7. I may join Poughkeepsie Farm Project to insure #2 and #5.
   

I will certainly continue to refine Off The Shelfthroughout the six months. Most likely, coffee, clothing and cosmetics will be added to the list very shortly.

As for those Yoga Socks, I made good progress (one sock finished) in spite of a run-in with a double pointed needle.

First Monday

The New Year and Monday are times to start afresh. Many people renew their commitment to diet and exercise. It always struck me as odd to announce on Thursday that your diet starts Monday whilst eating your way through the next four days as if on death row.

My days of making resolutions are gone. Now I have goals, and one of them is to knit from my stash. Yes, I am joining -- with some modifications to suit me. No sock yarn and spinning fiber here, so I made adjustments accordingly.

Knit From Your Stash 2007

Challenge will run from January 1, 2007 - June 30, 2007

1. I must use stash yarn for all projects
   
2. I may purchase souvenir yarn
3. I may purchase yarn using a store credit or gift certificate (not purchased by me)
4. I may swap stash yarn with another knitter
   
5. I may purchase yarn if I am running out of yarn for a project started with stash yarn
6. I may purchase yarn if I am asked/required to knit a gift for which I have no stash yarn
7. I may use 2 forgiveness passes should I break any of the above parameters

Stash and project list

Lang Viva for Cabaret Raglan (IK Summer 2004)
Cotton Glace for Stella's Blouse (IK Spring 2004)
Filatura di Crosa Elena for Corset Pullover
Rowan Rowanspun Chunky for Jess

There is more yarn, but I have not done a complete cross-reference of my stash spreadsheet to my knitting pattern spreadsheet. This should produce a few more pattern options, both ridding me of yarn and reducing my project wish list!

I have not fully fleshed out the more personal goals, some of which I can (and will) share in the coming days.